Posted by Paul Kekai Manansala on May 22, 2002 at 15:13:19:
From: JONMELE@aol.com [ Save address ]
To: KAPATID-L@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [KAPATID-L] RESPONSE: The Manalastas Sisters
Date: Sat, 18 May 2002 04:55:26 EDT
I personally met with the Manalastas sisters when they visited Washington DC
recently to appeal to White House and Congressional leaders. After they left,
I wrote Myleen to find out more about the personal impact of their father's
incarceration.
Here's Myleen's response which I'd like to share with you.
Subj: A question from Tito John of NaFFaa (National Federation of Filipino
American As
Date: 5/14/2002 5:15:43 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: MFManalastas
To: JONMELE, Decider111, gigi@themusehotel.com
To: cameranhand@hotmail.com, bertalee@hotmail.com
To: ynguyen@ivsllc.com, charmaine.mosby@wku.edu
To: mike@bacarra.net, aguerra@who.eop.gov, USWashpe
To: LANCETA1, arvin.abad@devrisinc.com
To: nfaya@nfaya.org
Too busy fighting for our cause, working with my sisters and helping to lift
up my parents' spirits, I haven't had the chance to sit and think how our
family's situation affected me. Your question definitely helped me reflect
and it allowed me to put into words the answers I've been looking for myself.
I decided to share these answers with other people.
Given what has happened, I'm sure your life is anything but normal. What
haven't you been able to do now that you have been able to do before? How has
this disrupted your daily routines?
Since the onset of my family's crisis on March 6, 2002, the very basic
elements of my life have been stripped away, my family, my friends, my hopes
and dreams, my rights, my liberty. I look around at people, and I realize how
much we tend to take these things for granted. This goes for many Americans -
citizens and immigrants alike.
And now, in a cruel way, I've come to appreciate the rights and privileges
that everyone seems to enjoy. Ironically, this has been a crash course in the
American values & principles. Laws protect the people it governs. And now,
having committed no crime and hatred, the 'law' is against my family and me.
Before all this, I was a student. I was an employee. I did all the things a
'normal' American would do because, plain & simply, I thought I was an
American. Now, that it is all being taken from me.
I went to school like any other college students, I participated in
professional and cultural organizations, I worked part time while taking
classes and full time during the summers and I graduated college. I drove
from point A to point B running errands, visiting friends and family just
like any other 'normal' person. Whenever I get a chance, I traveled to
different places in my home state and from east to west coast of the country
just like any other 'normal' person. I lost old friends and I met new friends
and mingled with 'normal' people who, now that I think of it, thought that I
was as 'normal' like them like I thought I was.
I guess now it is not 'so normal' anymore, I cannot work and I cannot really
go see a movie and drive to see friends and relatives under my family's
current situation. I worry about my family's health, my sisters futures and
our lives overall. I then realize it's not about what I cannot do
anymore---it is about what I can do now that my life is not 'so normal'
anymore. I can't even leave my home state without asking permission.
My father's right to trial was taken away. And, without a job, my whole
family's without medical coverage. I thought my helplessness ended after my
family went through my mother's chemotherapy for her cancer in 1999. It did
not end then, I felt helpless when my mother told me our father's blood tests
by the jail facility's physician came out abnormal after my sisters and I
returned from our DC trip in May 7, 2002, I do not know what or how to think
and feel when I hear my father say 'Is it still bright outside?' over the
phone, I felt powerless waking up to see my sister Jonaleen, who has a
history of asthma, with fever because she was working on for sale signs the
night before one of our many yard sales in May 10, 2002. It breaks my heart
seeing my youngest sister Mary Joy crying when she tells me that she will not
be able to graduate in her high school. It hurts to sell our possessions
that hold our family's memories in order to keep us going. It hurts to see my
sisters bear this pain. It is frustrating to hear and see people's
judgements, especially coming from our own 'kind' because they misunderstand
us. It hurts me reading messages from 45-50 year old American male asking my
parents their permission to marry my sisters. It may be 'ok' to most people
but it disgusts me and it is degrading to my sisters.
I cannot hug my father. I cannot enjoy myself because I'm fighting with all
my heart to rectify our situation. Without any income, I struggle just to pay
my cell phone bill. My family has to leave our house by the end of this month
to rent it to someone else. Yet still, people misunderstand and criticize us.
My health is diminishing because of stress and abnormal eating. I've already
been sent to the hospital, which only adds to our expenses. My credit is
diminishing. I'm losing all the things I possess. And then there is the
emotional strain. I would have never expected that one day, I would be forced
to leave my life, my future, my loved ones, my true friends, my country--my
home.
Despite all this pain, never before have I known the power of spirituality -
to dig deep into myself to find true patience, true wisdom & strength.
This experience has definitely expanded my views in life, my appreciation for
my family and my capabilities. I would not know what I can do if I did not
take the steps that I took and are planning to take given the situation at
hand. The decisions I made to take a stand and dive in on to what I have in
front of me was frightening. It is not easy. I just reminded myself all the
time, what's on hand, what's my goal, who am I fighting for, what am I
fighting for---then it all made sense.
It takes acceptance and a lot of getting up. There are so many people
throwing rocks at us---at me and to the people I love and it took a lot of my
strength to get up every time. It is not about what I want, it is about what
I need. At the same time, I feel blessed receiving guidance to see through
people's hearts and minds---to spot those who are willing to help and to
those who chose to open their hearts and minds, they suddenly appeared out of
nowhere. Surprisingly enough, those who I thought would never
appear---appeared before us. Those I did not expect to help---helped. We are
so thankful, it gave me hope and they fueled my fading strength.
When you have nothing, you'll find that the things you hold on to are the
most important things. I am lucky to be a member of the Manalastas family. I
am lucky to have true friends who have supported me. I am lucky that I was
able to take one step ahead and gain knowledge of who I really am, to have
the tools that I need, to learn the potentials of my professional growth, to
exercise the goodness of my heritage and to apply my experiences as an
American. These are the things that give me strength. These are the things
that give me the courage to stand up against this crisis, to keep pushing
despite the odds, and to hold on to those things that are closest to my heart.
From what I see now---I don't exactly know what 'normal' life is like
anymore. I do know life is just what I make out of it. This is a big
challenge in my life, to keep my internals intact and preclude the negativity
of my externals---my environment and the people around me. This is my life,
it may seem abnormal but I have to turn that around and make it normal so I
can move on.
Myleen F. Manalastas
http://www.deemangeez.com
May 14, 2002
Tuesday, 8am EST