Posted by Giant, Humungous even on October 22, 2003 at 19:28:42:
There was this dope who had pranced around a bit, err ah, 'trained' in several 'styles' for a couple years trying to learn enough of something so he could say he had a black belt. As proof he could show it around.
Self inflated and convinced he knew something, HF stepped into ceemde one day and thought he'd 'exchange ideas' with the instructors there because they he thought they were on the same level. HF was just trying to make friends in his own lowly mind, but was not ready for what happened.
He started to show what he thought would earn his acceptance into a higher group but was rejected, humiliated when they refused his offer of movement, called him garbage and knocked him to the floor. In disbelief and anguish HF reacted instinctively, 'what about this' and tried another move which was met with increasing but still measured harshness. HF was too stupid still to realize he was outclassed. Those present were embarrassed for him.
Mentally backed into a corner he tried one more and was quickly reduced to crying in the corner of the waiting room. Many of us were there, watching his pathetic plight.
Apologizing from the floor, hoping he now would not be truly beaten and seriously hurt, HF came true and said he just wanted to learn. He was allowed to sign up. Soon he was on special private but occasionally tried to show what he thought he knew and was instantly 'corrected.' It was humiliating for him to be acted upon if front of everyone, but it was the only way for him to learn due to his personality and slow learning ability. He needed to feel.
When regionals would visit, he was singled out as a former 'dingy' and demonstrated upon. This made him feel worse but he resolved that no matter what they'd dish out he'd make it and show everyone. This made him a perfect candidate to sell his car, work two fast food jobs and scrub floors just to win favor.
Still a lower belt, a big steeping stone of breaking him down mentally in order to learn true mooo, was when he brought in his previously earned black belt and red sash to be cut up in front of everyone at seeemde. He whimpered almost unnoticeably but vowed to get even. All the events until now fueled his rage, but he kept it inside.
He was always kept separate from the others, as he moved up in rank. The regionals never trusted him, he was not good with students, did not understand form or how to even hand a brochure to a walk-in. He always had something to prove. He learned little by the time he was allowed to pass for black belt mooo.
Although he never quit, he was never pushed that tiny little extra to send him crying out the door for good. During his slow, painful progression in rank he had fled on several occasions screaming 'leave me alone,' only to return the next day, tail dragging, nowhere else to go. HF was a pitiful soul.
They did not know what to do with him and the hope was eventually he might change. Average in stature, not that bright but still he tried 2 steps forward, one step back it was said about HF. When another state started he was put in with that group as the main org decided they had enough of him. He drained more resources than he contributed. He'd make a good go-fer in the start up area. Lots of coffee would be gotten.
His bitterness continued to fester inside him, over the years it reached the boiling point. His hatred for those who had always sought to put him down would be repaid with interest he thought, now that the tax case and other scandals had removed the corruption that always blocked the path.
By default, not qualified mentally or physically, the guy who no one really liked was handed a rank for time served. With no one to lash out at and repay the injustices done to him, he posts on forums hoping someone somewhere will care.
We care buddy, we feel your pain, but not your shame, because that's too funny.