Posted by KC Elbows on October 22, 2002 at 07:49:54:
In Reply to: Re: Perhaps you didn't understand posted by Ex-Instructor on October 21, 2002 at 15:23:50:
'Correction: That's 'they feel stressed' not 'they fill stressed'. -Ex'
Maybe you're not practicing true 'martian' arts. You know they predate the birth of man by many years. John Kim has proof, he'd show it to you, but you're not ready yet. 'Martian arts' were born in the 'backcountry cities' of Mars, where all buildings are either 8 or 11 stories, except in photographs, which the martians knew were so pa doe.
The martians were obsessed with licensing their facilities, and with credentials. No self respecting martian would have been caught dead without at least ten pics of themselves contorting in one of those eighties style workout suits that went 'swish-swish-swish' when you walked around. Preferrably these photographs were taken on a rock or near a river, and while photographs were considered pa doe, for credentials, they were okay.
While the martians were obsessed with licensing their facilities, the end goal was to never step foot in those facilities. Mostly because leaving the house would meen messing up their huge martian hair in the harsh martian wind. Plus, those martians in the licensed martian facilities were really frikkin weird.
The martian language is a fascinating thing. For instance, 'true' meant 'open wide, sucker'. Actually, the martians had a lot of words for 'open wide, sucker'. 'right' 'correct' 'movement' 'higher form' 'amazing opportunity' 'miraculous demonstration' and of course 'free lesson' all meant 'open wide, sucker'. Sometimes, the martians would make long sentences made up of different versions of 'open wide, sucker' while in licensed martian facilities.
Every 340 generations a leader would come to the martians. Because there was so long between leaders, the martians couldn't remember what the last leaders name was, but every once in a while, a leader would come along and say to the martians 'I am your leader' and they would say 'why?' and the leader would say 'I can fall real far, and look at my credentials', and all the martians would look, and say 'Oh, I hadn't thought of doing that with my leg', and 'oh, your movement is quite good', and 'What a nice landscape', and they would make him their leader, and never see him again except in nice landscape pictures.
[end satire]
*; =qq(